“I don’t always feel fierce and fearless, but I do feel like I’m a rock star at being human.”

— Tracee Ellis Ross

My tee-shirt reads, Human Kind, Be Both. I chose it because I like the play on words and the encouraging message. However, on the days I wear it, I realize kindness isn’t always easy.  Now, I often joke, “This shirt mocks me.” Fortunately, I wasn’t wearing it golfing the other day, although I might as well have.

Sunshine lit the manicured green course, and fir boughs streaked the fairway with shadowed arms. I felt grateful to golf on such a gorgeous summer morning and hoped to play a good round. Our group finished the first hole and enthusiastically pushed our carts toward the second tee box. Suddenly, a ball whacked my bag. The ladies playing behind us sheepishly crept in our direction, unable to retrieve their ball without finding it at our feet. 

Annoyed, I grumbled, “They didn’t even yell, ‘fore.’ It could have hit me.” I teed up my ball while mentally rehearsing how they should have waited until we were out of the way, and then at least yelled a warning. 

Good thing I was occupied as they got closer; I would have regretted my unkind response. The woman apologized profusely to my partners as she self-consciously moved her ball off the cart path. My friend was the epitome of grace to her. She said, “We didn’t hear you yell.” The woman said she had, but we didn’t hear her.  “That’s okay, it happens to all of us sometimes. We’ll need you to yell louder next time.”  I admired my friend’s kind and forgiving response, feeling grateful I hadn’t said a word.

Ironically, I had journaled the previous morning about my desire to avoid judging and criticizing others. The lesson was to remove the figurative plank from my eye before worrying about the sawdust in someone else’s. (Luke 6:37-42). I had prayed for God to show me my blind spots—it didn’t take long! 

Realizing my error, I squirmed with conviction and wondered how many times I had done something similar. What balls did I hit too close? What golf etiquette rules had I broken that aggravated someone else?

On the course that morning, I became freshly aware of my double standard and was reminded again how challenging kindness can be. I’m grateful for my friend’s example and that God doesn’t leave me where I am.

Maybe it’s time for a new tee shirt slogan: “It happens to all of us sometimes.”

“When your mind says, ‘Give up,’ Hope whispers, ‘One more try.’”

— Unknown

Humble Pie is a real thing.  If you take a big bite of it, you will definitely want to eat it in private, but this pie is not consumed alone; it’s typically a public experience!

Yesterday, I had a big serving, which was more than enough for a year. I played a 9-hole game of Scramble Golf with women I had met for the first time.  In this game, our team of four golfers each hit a ball and then chose from the group’s best ball placement to take the next shot. We continued this process until the ball went into the cup.

For the first two holes, I couldn’t hit one good shot. Not one.  Then when I finally did make contact, it landed left of the green, yet they all cheered me on anyway.  This is how you KNOW when you are having a bad game - when a mediocre shot earns praise. 

I realize that being humbled builds character and, despite my wishes, seems inevitable in golf. The frustrating part is I’ve been taking lessons and trying diligently to make progress. Recently, my friend’s husband told me I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.  But, playing this badly in front of strangers after all that effort is perplexing.

Is there anything you are trying to improve? It could be a sport, habit, character trait, or skill. Perhaps it’s parenting – which provides more opportunities for public embarrassment than all the above combined.  

Here’s my pep talk to myself. I figure it’s worth sharing for all of us who try and fail more times than we would like.

• Plan on eating humble pie occasionally. It’s not harmful physically, so be glad for that.

• Keep trying. Dabbling with inconsistent commitment is a recipe for more pie.

• Forget about yourself and focus on others.  Cheering them on is a great way to enjoy success, even if it is vicariously.

• Keep a good attitude. No one likes to play with pouters and club-throwers.

• Don’t make a big deal of your bad day. No sense in drawing more attention to yourself by complaining.

• Let God teach you something; you know he’s working on your character.  (Hopefully, he’ll help with things like golf too).

• Believe you will succeed someday.  You’ll win prizes, pins, awards… and best of all, you’ll gain a big heart of compassion for all those who struggle too.

Maybe those who have watched you eat humble pie, have been there as well. They’re probably just relieved it isn’t their day to eat pie.

Instead of judging you, they’re genuinely cheering you on. Believe that – hear the roar of the crowds … better days are ahead!

I feel my pep talk working; I think I can do this after all. 

“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

— James 1:4 NIV