“One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.”

— Philippians 3:13

I took my time traversing through wet grass, trees, and bushes looking for my golf ball. Even though I’d observed its path along a pair of trees, I couldn’t find my shiny new ball anywhere. How could I lose it so easily; it was bright pink?!

Do you know there’s a time limit for searching for lost balls?  The purpose is to keep the game moving along continuously without long pauses in play. Since I was playing alone, I had a bit more time to poke around for it.

Some things, we never recover. It was true that day; I left my ball behind, somewhere.

I’ve lost a lot of things in life … and I’m not talking about little golf balls. Can you look back on your life and sense the sorrow over lost years, lost opportunities, lost health, lost finances, lost trust, a lost marriage … ugh losses.

The famous poem in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 rings true – there is a time for everything, including a time to let go of our losses.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die,
     a time to plant and a time to uproot,
      a time to kill and a time to heal,
     a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
     a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
     a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
      a time to search and a time to give up,
     a time to keep and a time to throw away,
       a time to tear and a time to mend,
     a time to be silent and a time to speak,
      a time to love and a time to hate,
     a time for war and a time for peace.”

It is very normal and important to grieve our losses. But if in time, our sorrow turns sour, we’ll need to ask ourselves if we’re stuck.  Our pain can turn into depression, resentment, unforgiveness, negativity, ruminating on the past, complaining, bitterness, displaced anger, blaming, despair, and regret. Do you see these reactions creeping into your life?

We have an abundant life ready to experience now – there are people to love, our potential to develop, and our purpose to carry out. How can we let our past continue to rob us?

The apostle Paul said, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead (Philippians 3:13).”  I imagine he had to forgive and let go of a lot of things including persecution, abandonment, and injustice.

In golf, we’re given just three minutes before we cut our losses, but in life, it’s likely to take longer, but how long?  Is it your time and season to let go? Imagine if you could be free and unburdened. Can you see yourself being happy, creative, and optimistic? What would it be like if you could look forward instead of back? What if you could let go of the life you wished you had so you could dream new dreams for your future?

Wild Pink Roses, Beauty Among the Thorns

“Thou hast not that, My child, but thou hast Me;
And am not I alone enough for thee?
I know it all, know how thy heart was set
Upon this joy which is not given yet.”

— Amy Carmichael

“I’ve got some good news and some bad news…” my dad begins as he starts off a story.  It’s usually a joke that makes us all laugh.  Experiencing the bad with the good, isn’t this true of life?  

My longing for good gets shaken up by reality at times.  We all want life at its best: the kids to be successful, our bodies to be healthy, our finances to balance and investments to increase. We want our relationships to thrive and our romances to play like a storybook. We want others to be truthful and look-out for our best.  If they don’t, we get burned and wonder why people have to act the way they do.

When life crashes, when it really levels us, we can feel dismayed.  These kinds of losses are shocking and painful.  Have you ever found yourself so grieved and angry that you demand an answer from God? We innately KNOW life’s not supposed to be this way. So we fight it, we swing at the darkness, not making any difference. “Acceptance” can be the hardest part of the grief process.

A pastor once told me, “You’re longing for Eden, but you aren’t there yet.” It’s true.

I’m in a prayer group of women.  And do you know what? We never have a meeting when there are no prayer requests. As soon as one problem is solved another one pops up. This is life. It’s not picture-perfect, and it won’t be, this side of Heaven.

Do you feel the tension … wanting life as it “should” be and not as it is?

Here are a few ideas to help:

• Know your hope of Heaven will someday come true. Be patient and wait for it.

• Remember we are living in a broken world, there will always be weeds in the garden and sinful, cruel people (they might even be us at times), and there will be disease and death. Try to accept it. I didn’t say you have to like it or agree with it. But, it’s just crazy-making to bang our heads against the wall saying it’s not supposed to be this way.

• If you’re grieving, grieve.  Don’t add any more expectations on yourself.  Allow yourself some time to heal. (In fact, I hope you go wrap up in a warm blanket and wait to finish reading this another time).

• Practice your gratefuls, EVERY DAY. Focus on the good.

• Be a light.  You can do this! Make things fun, add your humor, share your talent, be generous, do a good deed, share a smile.  Be “good news” in someone else’s life.

• Don’t get fooled by what you see on media – it’s all filtered and presents the best, not the worst. We all do it; I’m not going to tell the public of my recent fight, surgery, or share my ugliest picture. So don’t compare your life with someone else’s best life image.

• Remember God is WITH you.  His presence, strength, comfort, and love will get you through the storm.

• Lean into God instead of fighting Him. Some of His best work happens in the dark as we surrender and worship.  

• Love yourself.  Be gentle with your expectations.  Take time to feel your feelings. Do some healthy things that fill your heart.

• Share your feelings with someone you trust (like a friend, pastor, or counselor).

We can all get caught between the now and the not yet, desirous for the way we want life to be.  Even when we don’t see it, God is working.  He is working for the good.  We might see it soon, or, we might have to wait until Heaven.  But we will see it.

So let me end by saying, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news …” and someday the bad news is getting swallowed up in victory. I’m cheering for you – that no matter what comes your way, you will persevere in faith, and offer your own blend of good news wherever you go!

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

— Hebrews 10:23-24